Are you an awfulizer?
The other day I eavesdropped on a person I like to call an awfulizer. I don’t make a habit of listening to strangers’ conversations, but it appears many of the Bluetooth headsets you see people wearing, don’t work very well because people always seem to talk very loud at them. I was working in a cafe when the person sat down near me, and I couldn’t help but hear every word the awfulizer said. For the record, an awfulizer is a person who focuses on everything that is wrong with their world: a boss, the economy, perceived lack, a neighbor’s pet.
But truth be told, I used to be an awfulizer myself. When I was pursuing my golf career in college, I often pondered everything that was less than perfect in my life. I used play one-upmanship by arguing with people over which of us had the worst luck, or how everyone seemed better than me at so many things. I did not understand certain truths about controlling my actions and attitudes, and was a chronic complainer. If you are infected with the awfulizer virus and see every failure as outside your control, I hope the rest of the post will help you overcome it.
Symptoms you may recognize:
-When alone you think about all the things you don’t have or condemn yourself for failures
-You get jealous of other people’s’ successes and make excuses for why you can’t
-You love to tell war stories of how bad things are
Unfortunately, many of our society’s systems, like education, consumerism, and keeping appearances have made us carriers without even knowing it.
Treatment
-Instead of focusing on your problems and lack, focus on solutions and abundance
-Watch your words; only speak positive (Your words are the rudder to your life)
-Do something creative, don’t sit around and wallow or busy yourself in unproductive tasks
-Associate** yourself with people who encourage you and talk about possibilities & dissociate with other awfulizers
**Association can be reading books like The Traveler’s Gift and The Greatest Miracle in the World , blogs like Sander’s Says and fear.less or follow folks on twitter like @MichaelHyatt.
My Cure
My coach, Robert Linville, sat me down and taught me that I can only control my actions and attitudes, but that I CAN control those two things. He said look at all the things you have inside of you and around you to architect your own life. He reminded me of Whose I am and helped me direct the Ryder and motivate the Elephant. I focused on things I could control and started changing daily. Over time I learned to capture my thoughts and live above my circumstances.
Have you been an awfulizer? How did you find your cure?
photo credit: kat m research